The morning of the two year anniversary of our pregnancy announcement with Evelyn, the daughter that preceeds us in heaven, I was especially emotional. I felt it in my heart, God was telling me that it was time. Among many other reasons, He gave me this story to share it. So, here we are.
On December 11, 2013, I wrote a condensed version of our journey and more importantly detailed my spiritual journey in having our son, Grayson. You can read that
here.But, this wasn't the end of my story. This was only one chapter. This was only the beginning.
Some of this continued story, you may find disheartening. However, that is not what I want you to take from this. This is not a sad story, but a story of grace, goodness, consistency, love, miraculous ways and answered promises. As you listen to me speak, make an effort to keep God’s sovereignty in the forefront of your heart and mind.
Evelyn’s Story
As Grayson's second birthday was quickly approaching, I started to get that baby fever once again. I had always wanted to have my children close in age as my sister and I were. I knew that it could once again take us quite a while to add to our family. That combined with the fact that I was getting older daily and already struggled with poor egg quality, I didn't feel there was time to delay. I began praying for clarity on where to go from there.
My pregnancy with Grayson was very high risk and I had many issues, followed by severe preeclampsia which resulted in an early delivery, a NICU stay for him and me having to be on blood pressure meds following his birth. The likelihood of this happening again was high. My OB told me that while some doctors would advise that I never get pregnant again, that she was confident that together we could handle any issues that may arise.
Adoption was still very much on the table in my heart, but is very expensive, much more than we could afford at the time now that we had a small child already.
We considered foster care and went to some meetings with agencies to learn more about it, but it didnt seem to fit at the time either. The goal of foster care is to reunite children with their families and we were looking to grow ours permanently. It didn't have peace going into it while hoping for the opposite outcome.
After praying and considering options for a while, I told Jason that I flat out did not know which direction to go. After weighing the pros and cons and considering what was actually possible, we were en route to our fertility clinic to discuss another IVF procedure. We decided that we would give IVF ONE more try. If the one try didn't result in a baby, we would close that door completely. We would also continue to gather more information on adoption and foster care during that time.
My obstetrician and reproductive endocrinologist were in agreement that if monitored closely, another pregnancy with a good outcome was possible. We went ahead and got our IVF schedule going for the August before Grayson's 2nd birthday. When it came time to move forward with the plan, it was not financially possible at that time. I was so discouraged, even though I truly did trust God's plan deep down. I was angry at Jason because he stated that he "was content" with one child anyway. To me, that said he wasnt going to try harder to make it happen for us. I felt so defeated and so lonely. Shortly thereafter, I found out that two of my very close friends were pregnant. They were due exactly when I had "planned" to be. Here I go, trying to control my own life again instead of letting God work it out for me. You'd think I would have learned, but feelings are real and sometimes they are hard to get a grip on. My emotions took over and I forced Jason into giving me a timeline. It was decided that December/January, it was going to happen. I was so mad, that I opened my Bible in spite, looking for some verse telling him why he was wrong to delay this. Instead, I was humbled by reading Proverbs 17. There it was, verse 27. "The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered." I needed to learn when to quiet down. I apologized to my husband and he was forgiving, as he always is.
December and January came and went with no IVF and by that time I began thinking more clearly. I was understanding that finances really just were still not in place at that time. I didn't want to put our family in a financial bind.
In February, we went on a ski trip with some friends and family. On the second day of our trip, the first day of skiing, Jason wiped out on the slope. I received a photo via text message from Ryan of Jason laying in the hospital bed. We rushed over to the resort's on site clinic where Jason tried to convince me that he was fine and could walk. He attempted to stand with his crooked leg and I think that was when he realized it was serious. My sister took Grayson to go sledding and Jason and I transferred over to the nearby emergency room. He was still trying to convince me that it wasn't broken and everything was fine when the ER doctor walked in and said it was practically destroyed and one of the worst knee injuries he had seen. Jason had shattered his tibeal plateau. His leg was in such bad shape that they said he may never walk again. The ER doctor said he would for sure need surgery and soon, but that he would brace it and stabilize it enough to get us home. Our flight wasn't for a few more days so Jason camped out in the condo while I tried to ensure that Grayson still had some fun on his first big snow trip.
Getting Jason home from Colorado with a knee that desperately needed surgery was eventful, but we did it. He had surgery shortly after we made it home and they reconstructed his entire knee. He had a plate and tons of screws put in. This was our first experience with the church really stepping up to help us out. They brought over so much food and offered so much support. We were completely blown away by the kindness. I prayed so hard. The thought of him never getting to play sports with Grayson and teach him all of the "daddy things" broke my heart. Miraculously, after 6 weeks, he stood. Slowly, he began to walk. Eventually, he returned to work, ditched the crutches and was able to get around. That in itself was unexpected. He surprised his entire medical team with his miraculous recovery. We are so thankful.
Suddenly, IVF wasn't even on the table anymore. At this point, we were in "survival mode." Grayson was 2, Jason was incapable of doing much of anything. My heart still yearned for another child, but it wasn't realistic during this time. I was barely keeping my head above the water with a 2 year old and a disabled husband. I backed off of the idea for several months.
In April, we were finally back on our feet enough that we were ready to consider options again. I wondered if maybe all of this was a sign that we weren't supposed to do the IVF again.
I still couldn't shake the foster care/adoption that was on my heart. Why would God place this so prominently on me if it wasn't in His plans for us? That said, on April 10, 2015 we sent in our application forms for those.
On April 30, 2015 , I went back to the fertility clinic. I received my new IVF schedule. After Jason's scare, we valued health more than ever before. i was scared of more issues with a pregnancy, being put on bed rest and being separated from Grayson, but continued to have faith that God had all of this in His time.
I just didn't know. Then I felt God telling me that was fine. I didn't need to know. He knows and he has this.
I thought, "God, you pick. Here are both routes completely open for you to work."
And I felt peace for the first time in a while. I was confident that He was going to do what needed to be done. That as long as I have faith, He would move mountains for us. So I shifted my prayers to this.
Lord, do whatever will bring you the most glory.
Lord, even if it hurts me, use me to bring you glory.
On May 31, 2015, the IVF process officially began.
As I was preparing my body, Grayson and I flew to visit a friend in June just to have a short break from everything. It was so great to have that quality time with him before the whirlwind that was beginning in all of our lives. One of my favorite memories from that trip was our three hour layover in the DC airport. We ate pizza, had ice cream, filled up on all kinds of junk food, watched airplanes take off and land and I watched him take in everything, while i took every ounce of him in. It was such a perfect reminder that joy can be found in the journey, and must be found in the journey, instead of only in the destination.
Everything with my IVF protocol was textbook up until the very end. On July 20, after receiving my labs, my clinic called in a frenzy needing me to rush to Dallas for close monitoring. It was indicative of OHSS, which means ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome, which in the worst cases can be deadly, so we would have to proceed with extreme caution and alter some things with my protocol. Thankfully, my sister is always on board and willing to support me and help with anything anytime. No more than thirty minutes after I called her, she, Mason, Grayson and I were off to Dallas together.
Thankfully, we got it worked out and the risk of OHSS down, and the boys had a blast on their mini vacation. After getting word that we were good to proceed, Jason drove up for my egg retrieval.
On July 22, 2015, they retrieved my eggs. Thus Evelyn, her twin and Adeline were all conceived that very day. Due to the risks, my body needed some down time. They wouldnt be able to transfer any of the embryos at this point. We cryopreserved (or froze) all three of them. The anticipated embryo transfer date would be September 11, 2015.
On August 13, 2015 I began the frozen embryo cycle. On September 11, we chose to transfer two of our frozen embryos to up the chances of success, even though that also would increase the odds of issues during pregnancy.
To my relief, I was able to do most of the ultrasound monitoring and labs for this cycle in Tyler vs Dallas like I had done previously. After all of this time, I became close with the owner of sonocare, Julie, who did all of my scans.
On September 14, the pregnancy test was positive. The following week, my best friend Christin and I made a series of drives to the lab in Tyler for three consecutive blood draws to confirm viability.
After the final blood draw, Christin and I drove over to sonocare so I could tell Julie. She had been cheering us on from the beginning so I couldn't wait to share the news. As soon as I walked in she immediately knew why and was so excited. She said "Well, let's go look" and that marks the first day I got to see my little Evelyn, ever so tiny, on the ultrasound screen.
A few days later, a woman called to let us know that our application had been accepted for the adoption program. I told her that I had just found out that we were expecting. She congratulated us and took our name off of the list because you can't pursue adoption through their agency while pregnant.
A few days later, Christin also found out that she was pregnant. We were ecstatic, but deep down I just had a bad feeling. I've struggled with anxiety in the past, so I attributed it to this.
My pregnancy had a rocky start, but each ultrasound showed normal growth and development for our baby. At my 7 week ultrasound, we found out that the issues I had been having were likely due to a twin that had been hiding behind the first sac all of this time. They called this second sac a "vanishing twin." He or she had stopped developing very early on. I was saddened by the loss of this twin, but the thankfulness for our surviving twin and to have answers to the issues overshadowed sadness. Things progressed normally and by our next ultrasound around 9 weeks, our baby looked perfect. We were then released from our fertility specialist into the care of my regular OB.
In the beginning of November, we found out that our baby was a girl. We named her Evelyn Grace.
Evelyn means "wished for child" and grace is a word that holds so much meaning to me. Throughout this entire process God had revealed to me the true meaning of His grace and I wanted to honor that with my daughter's name.
On November 10th, after dropping Grayson off at MDO, Jason's mom and I drove to Tyler to go shopping for this new baby girl. We bought all kinds of things for Evelyn. After our shopping, we scheduled a sono with Julie, thinking it would be fun to peek in on our little one.
So, we walked into the ultrasound room and as we were getting situated, Julie was saying how she was so glad to see me and be able to do an ultrasound on someone who was actually appreciative of their baby. It had been a rough day at the clinic she volunteers at. For lack of better phrasing, she said it was "dead baby day" and she had performed a few ultrasounds where the fetus' had died. All this to say, she was in very desperate need of the happiness we were about to experience.
She placed the transducer on my abdomen and we were all waiting with excitement and anticipation. A few seconds later, there was our little Evelyn, in perfect focus on the screen. She was perfectly still and it was perfectly quiet. That didn't seem quite right. By her gestation of pregnancy, I was expecting her to be bouncing around and waving her limbs at us. By this point, I know what I'm looking at when I see a baby on the ultrasound. I began to scan the screen for her heart. Once I located it, I noticed it wasn't flickering like it had been before. Deep down, I knew right then. I instantly felt numbness overcome my body and I went into survival mode. We all sat in silence for a few more moments when finally I worked up the courage to look at Julie and whisper, "what's wrong?" Even though I already knew exactly what was wrong, it had to be said out loud. I needed to hear the words. She tenderly replied "I can't find the heartbeat." My mother-in-law immediately started crying, Julie began to tear up, and I just sat there with absolutely no emotion. I was in complete shock that what I had feared the entire time had come true. Julie spent the next hour verifying what we had found. She searched multiple angles, measured several different ways and turned on the colors that measure blood flow in and around the baby. I could tell she was so disappointed for us and shocked that the baby was measuring right on target so this had likely just happened within the past 24 hours. She called my doctor and took so many photos for me. She was willing to sit with us for as long as necessary.
This marks the beginning of the series of what I like to call "little miracles" from that day. This begins with the fact that Julie, someone who had become a friend, was the one who was doing this scan for me. I know that it was awful for her, but it was exactly what I would have chosen. I can't imagine finding this out with an unfamiliar face. Someone who had no idea what we had been through up until this point. I can't imagine being rushed out like this was just another typical day. I needed her to be the one. I needed her compassion, her care and her hugs.
What happened after that is somewhat of a blur. I remember Jason's mom offering to drive us home which for some reason I declined. I remember us discussing what we were supposed to do with all of this baby stuff we just bought. I didn't even call Jason, because I wanted to give him a little more time before his life changed forever, in the worst way, like mine just had. Ignorance is bliss.
Brenda called Bill and they were both crying and I remember wondering why I wasn't. My emotions were all wrong. I couldn't feel anything. I realize now, I was in my typical panic mode. I am the calmest person ever, when everything is a disaster. Instead of outwardly responding with emotion, I internalize it all and turn it into productiveness. In my mind, I was planning out the next steps. I couldn't stop to let myself feel this or I would completely break.
Our time returning home was the exact time that I would need to go pick Grayson up from Mother's Day Out. I dropped Brenda off and left to go pick up Grayson. I remember thinking how ironic it was that I was driving straight to church in that moment, which is exactly where I felt in my heart I should be driving.
I parked my car and I got out, still numb. I saw Brittany loading the kids up in her car and I didn't think about it, I just walked over. I knew she would understand, having suffered a loss herself. She had been a wonderful friend and source of support throughout most of this journey, so I already felt comfortable. She said hey and I just looked at her and for the first time I blurted out the words "My baby died." She was like "do what?!" I repeated myself, "My baby died. She died, I just found out." She hugged me, which was exactly what I needed. She offered to go talk and pray with brother Danny with me.
Mrs. Peggy, who I have known for as long as I can remember, was Grayson's teacher at that point. I was comfortable enough with her that I asked if she could stay a few extra minutes with him so that I could go speak with brother Danny. Of course she did.
After speaking with him, I walked back to the classroom to get Grayson and I told Peggy what was going on. She hugged me and I literally fell apart on her. Every emotion hit right then and there. I remember Emily, Sara, Mandie and Mrs. Darlene all coming to comfort me. I was holding Grayson so so tight.
Jason's dad came up with an excuse to send him home from work early, so I could tell him in person. After leaving the church, that was next on my list.
He walked in the door and I immediately told him. He responded pretty much identical to the way I did. Complete shock.
That morning before school, we had promised Grayson that we would take him to Chuck E Cheese later that evening. I know it's really weird, but that's what we almost immediately left to do. On the way out the door, my sister pulled up to the house to check on me. I told her our plans and even though I know she thought it was totally out of the ordinary, she and her family met us at Chuck E Cheese. I just knew that I had to keep living for Grayson. It felt like the world had stopped spinning that day, but I knew I was going to have to force it to continue for my son.
I remembered my prayer, for God to allow what would bring him the most glory. I would not let this loss be meaningless. I knew I had a choice.
That night when I crawled into bed, I wrote this post for Facebook. I hated for some people to find out that way, but I also didn't have it in me to call or text each person individually so I had to do what I had to do.
November 10, 2015
"Today we named our daughter, Evelyn Grace. Evelyn means "wished for child" and Grace because well, God's grace. Today we also discovered that our daughter's heart has stopped beating and she has gone to heaven. We are all in a state of shock. I'm not sure where to begin processing this but it will come with time. What I am sure of though is that my God is constant. I take comfort in knowing that although situations and life changes, He never changes. He is always good. He is always working on a bigger plan for my life that I am incapable of understanding. I have learned not to ask why. I have learned to trust in that plan and His goodness in every trial. I know that it is with Him that I am able to get through these devastating and otherwise impossible situations that I am dealt. I am so thankful that God placed the perfect support teams in my path everywhere I went today. Not even once did I feel alone. We have been reminded again what an absolute miracle it is that Grayson is with us. Life is fleeting and we never know when we or those we love will be called from this earth. We have to make a conscious effort to cherish each and everyday. Our family maybe weak for a while as we cope with this, but I know we will grow closer and be stronger one day. I know that our story isn't over. I don't know how our story ends, but I do know that it isn't over yet."
The days passed and the emotions came. I poured myself completely into Grayson. I tried to keep living life as normally as I could for him. When I would lay down at night, it would all come flooding in, knowing that I was carrying a lifeless body inside of my own. I also felt an amazing sense of unexplainable peace that I knew was only from God. As weird as it sounds, I also cherished what may very well be the last time my body ever carried another body, even if she was no longer with me. In my strongest moments I also felt joy. Joy that she never knew pain, or heartache, or anything but love for that matter. I carried her every second of her life and now she was with Jesus. Is that not the end goal for us all? To be with Him.
The grief would come in waves. I missed her, all of her, all the time. I felt like I was suffocating.
I saw my OB who is absolutely amazing. She explained every detail of every question that I had. Ultimately, I opted to wait it out and miscarry naturally. She scheduled me one more ultrasound on November 16. Neither of us had any doubts, but it was one of those things that I needed to do for my own sanity. Jason, my sister and I went to that scan and it was once again confirmed that our baby had no heartbeat nor growth from the scan the week prior. Almost an entire week had passed and at this point I felt like I was hanging in the balance of "when." Everyday I wondered if this would be that day that I lose her forever, even though I knew she was already gone. I was exhausted. I knew it was time to say goodbye, so my doctor gave me cytotec to move things along.
My sister, my best friend and I spent that entire day together. They had my back, completely. They were going to make sure that I was not alone. They took me to my appointment, took me to pick up my prescriptions and stayed with me for as long as I needed.
My mom came to pick up Grayson, Jason came home and I began the process. I had minimal pain, which is miraculous in itself. At 1:30, I woke up and I knew it was time. My body was shaking uncontrollably. I'm not sure if it was a physical reaction to what was happening or if it was and emotional reaction to what was happening. Jason and I went into our bathroom and at 1:49AM she was in my hands. I cut her tiny umbilical cord, measured all three inches of her body and we took a ton of photos. She was perfectly formed in every way. She had all ten fingers and toes and even the tiniest fingernails. She had every facial feature and her mouth was literally smiling. I cannot explain the calmness that overtook me while all of this was occuring. God was with us, no doubt.
In the following days, we buried our baby girl next to my grandfather.
We began our new normal. It was so rewarding to watch God use our daughter's life to transform others. I know in my heart of hearts that if one single person was brought to Christ through her loss, then it was worth it. I know that's a bold statement, but it's true. I know that God can use any tragic situation for his glory. I had confidence that good would come from all of this.
One thing became very clear. God never promises us that suffering will cease in this life. And he invites us into a deeper relationship with him based on trust, not built on what He will give us or keep from happening to us. What he promises us is Himself: the one who gives His son to forgive our sins, resurrect our bodies, and grant us an eternal life with him. You can choose bitterness or you can choose to let Him wrap you up in peace that can’t be explained and that choice will lead to hope.
“Jesus was the Son of God, but he still suffered, and through his sufferings he learned to obey whatever God says. This made him the perfect high priest, who provides the way for everyone who obeys him to be saved forever.”
Hebrews 5:8-9 ERV
During all of this, the most amazing thing was happening. God was working out an adoption plan for my sister. I'm not sure she even realized the desire was truly there yet, but God made himself very clear. However, that isn't my story to tell. I'm just thankful that God had put adoption on my heart years before, so I was educated on it all enough to be able to offer advice and support them. I finally had some clarity, maybe God put adoption on my heart to benefit my nephew, not my own child. I had the privilege of getting to know their birthmother and love her like the family that she is now. My sister and I both were able to be present for Jaxon's birth. It was one of the most beautiful and incredible things I have or will ever experience. I will always cherish getting to be a part of it.
January rolled around and I just got fed up with waiting. I knew we had our last embryo still frozen and I had every intention of still transferring it eventually. At this point, after everything, pregnancy just sounded so daunting. Not only did I have the previous issues I was concerned about with the repeat preeclampsia, etc. Now, I also had Evelyn's loss hanging over my head and I was terrified of going through that again. I just wanted to add to our family and I wanted to do it quickly. I was tired of being patient.
We were back to square one. Jason really wanted to transfer the remaining embryo and I really wanted to pursue adoption, so we decided to do both, again. While I was waiting for my body to recover from our miscarriage, I made a page to attempt to find a birthmother and do a private adoption. Our next door neighbor is an attorney and handles adoptions often so I contacted her. She was eager to help us. We were all set to hit the ground running again. I figured if we found a birthmother before my body was ready for the embryo transfer we could always keep it frozen for a few years until we were ready for a third child. I wanted to remain open to life and let God do whatever he saw fit.
We had a couple of leads with the adoption, but everything ended up falling through so in March, we proceeded with our final embryo transfer. I was ready to close the IVF door once and for all, regardless of the outcome. Physically, I was done with it.
Every time I would drive to Tyler for ultrasounds and labs, I would blast the song "Praise You in this Storm" by Casting Crowns which became my theme song for this time in my life. Everytime the part that says "My help comes from the Lord, maker of heaven and earth," my horrible singing voice would shout it out and tremble and I would bawl my eyes out. I knew I could never have made it throughout any of this without Him. Somehow, by some miracle, here I was, doing this again and I was okay. I was the most okay that I had been since November 10. I was okay because I don't think I had ever felt such a strong connection with God before that time. It gives me chills just thinking about that turning point. When I realized that no matter what, He was worthy of all praise. So I would sing out and shout out all of the words to all of the songs that I realize now were like my therapy. Those drives to those appointments became a gift where I had nothing else to do but worship Him in the car and that is all I wanted to do.
You'd think I would have learned from Grayson not to give up hope on the last embryo, but I stayed emotionally disconnected. I truly didn't feel like another successful pregnancy was going to be in the cards for us. If 2 out of 3 of these frozen embryos resulted in a loss, what would be different about the third one? They choose the highest graded embryos to transfer first. That means that this third remaining embryo was a lower grade than even the first two were.
As a matter of fact, when I got a negative pregnancy test the day before my best friend's baby shower, I shut the door emotionally. I accepted that was it and I would never be pregnant again. I was at peace with it and kept myself busy with planning the celebration for her little one. I didn't have anymore sadness left and I was ready to move forward.
We had a wonderful day on April 2, celebrating the life of little miss Leighton Grace. Christin asked me if I would be okay with her using the middle name "Grace" for her baby girl in honor of Evelyn. Of course I was okay with it and I was so touched by the gesture. This little girl would forever be a sweet reminder of my baby girl, due just a week apart from one another.
After the baby shower, I went home and took another test just because I guess I like to waste money. But, this time It had the faintest line ever, but I knew that a line is a line and a line means pregnant. I was in complete and utter shock.
Then I was completely and utterly terrified. I didn't actually plan for this to work. I had planned out how I was going to comfort my family in their time of disappointment of the failure. I planned out how I would ensure that they knew that truly, I was fine. But I didn't give much thought to the idea that this would actually result in a pregnancy.
I was so anxious. I knew God was in control and I trusted Him, but I couldnt shake the anxiety and the fear that I would lose this baby too. I trusted God and I knew that it was all according to His plan. I also knew that trusting God doesn't mean that bad things never happen. Being hormonal didn't help any of this.
What if it happens again? How will I survive that?
Maybe when my labs come back confirming the pregnancy, I'll be less anxious.
Maybe when I have my first ultrasound, I'll feel better.
Maybe after I hear the baby's heartbeat, the fear will go away.
Maybe once I'm past the point of pregnancy that I lost Evelyn, I will enjoy this.
Maybe once I can feel her moving, I'll be at peace.
Maybe once we're past viability at 24 weeks, I won't be so anxious...
On September 18th I was driving to my baby shower. The song "Held" by Natalie Grant began to play. "This is what it means to be held. how it feels when the sacred is torn from your life and you survive. This is what it is to be loved and to know that the promise was when everything fell, we'd be held." It was undoubtedly playing just for me in that very moment. I was overcome with just about every emotion in the book and I started crying my eyes out. It still hadn't sunk in completely that there was a beautiful baby girl coming. I was hit so hard with the knowledge of the grace of God and my gratitude came out in the form of tears.
He was holding me through it all. He has this.
That evening was my first event this pregnancy with high blood pressure. Jason was in our bed with the worst headache of his entire life and here I am 27 weeks pregnant and needing to go to labor and delivery to be monitored. I called my sister and like always she was at my house in about 15 minutes ready to go. We stayed until just after midnight and at this point, everything checked out okay. I was told to "take it easy."
The next morning, Jason went to the emergency room because he couldn't take the pain anymore. Long story short, they found a mass near his optic nerve. He was in the hospital for days having tests run. Grayson and I did our best to hold down the fort. The poor kid, one parent on bed rest and the other parent in the hospital. I'm not going to lie, it was a difficult time for all of us, but I kept hearing the word "held." I knew it was going to be okay, one way or another. We were held.
A few weeks later, Jason went to a neurosurgeon in Dallas and thanks be to God, everything checked out just fine. We found out they were 99% sure the tumor was benign and unless it began causing any issues he would return for occasional checks.
A couple of weeks later, at 35 weeks pregnant, I did develop preeclampsia yet again. This time, we were expecting it and caught it before it got too severe. I was put into the hospital on bed rest for several days before we welcomed our baby girl, Adeline Elizabeth into the world on November 14, 2016.
Everything about my labor and delivery went beautifully. Adeline came out perfectly healthy and didn't have to be rushed to NICU like Grayson had. She was breathing well and was able to stay with me in my room. It was such an incredible experience to feel kind of "normal" for that time. When they checked her bilirubin at 24 hours, it was elevated so they had to take her to NICU at that point. She stayed for 2 nights, roomed in with me at the hospital for one night and then came home for one night. When we took her back for labs, her levels were still elevated so at that point she was admitted to pediatrics where we stayed another 2 or 3 nights. I was so thankful her issues were a simple fix, but I was also so homesick. I missed Jason, Grayson, my dogs and my bed and most of all I longed to bring her home and begin our family of four adventures. It was beginning to feel like we would be stuck there forever.
She's a healthy one year old now and the happiest human being on earth, I think. She was certainly the missing piece of our family puzzle. She and Grayson are truly the best of friends. Knowing sorrow also allows me to know joy and for that I will forever be grateful for every aspect of my journey.
