My lab results came back great again today. I'm still responding well to the dosage of medicines I'm currently on, so no need to change anything there. My E2 level is a 732 indicating some definite ovarian action. I could have told them that, these suckers are on fire! I'm soooooooo bloated. I've never been this bloated in my life, I'm getting a precursor of the (hopeful) pregnant belly I'll be seeing in about five months. Seriously though, it's really out there and I can't suck it in. When I try to suck in it feels like my ovaries might explode, so I'm letting it all hang out. I have all of the expected side effects and moodiness of a woman hopped up on hormones. Each medication came with about 20 pages worth of listed side effects and I think I have most of them. I'm on about 758 different medicines right now so I'll spare you every detail. Nobody wants to read 15,160 pages...
Three injections per day is getting really old, I won't lie. Now that it's been six days, it's hard to find a place on my belly that isn't already bruised which makes them more painful by the day. It wouldn't be quite so bad if I didn't have to wake up before the sun to do the first two. You should see me in the kitchen half asleep, squinting and trying to see clearly enough to mix the vials and read the syringes correctly, all the while I'm dropping stuff left and right. Why are my hands made of butter in the mornings? I'm sure it's entertaining. I really suck at mornings.
But all this aside, I'm so thankful to have the opportunity to put myself through this torture. The truth is I'd do it all for two years if that's what it took. It's amazing what we'll do for our children, even before they're conceived in my case.
On Saturday, I have to be back in Dallas by 9am ((yawn)) for more labs and finally an ULTRASOUND!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Injections: Day Three (CD7)
Today I went in for my CD 7 blood work. I have been doing three injections per day for three days now. My E2 levels looked good at a 198. Because my lab results were where they should be at this point, it looks like we have found the right combination of injections for me so far. I will continue on with 5 units of Lupron, 75ius of Menopur and 150ius of Follistim for three more days. I will then return for another blood draw on Thursday the 30th to check my E2 levels again and make sure I don't need a change in dosing. After that appointment, I will most likely return every other day until my retrieval. We will need to keep a close eye on my E2 levels and do frequent ultrasounds to check my follicle count and size.
As far as physical side effects, there are many, but the most prominent so far is that I've been flat out exhausted! My lower abdomen is super bloated, bruised and sore from all of the injections. Emotionally I've been very moody and a little snappy, but that is to be expected with all of these hormones. Bear with me please. :)
As far as physical side effects, there are many, but the most prominent so far is that I've been flat out exhausted! My lower abdomen is super bloated, bruised and sore from all of the injections. Emotionally I've been very moody and a little snappy, but that is to be expected with all of these hormones. Bear with me please. :)
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Baseline Appointment
After starting my cycle Tuesday, today I went to the doctor for my CD3 baseline ultrasound and blood work. My ultrasound went great! My lining was nice and thin which is exactly how it should be at this point. My e2 levels are low as well (30). This is all to be expected and it means the Lupron injections are doing exactly what they are supposed to be doing. Tomorrow I will decrease my Lupron dose from 10 units to 5 units until my egg retrieval. On Saturday, I will be adding in two more injections per day for a total of 3. I will do my Lupron injection as well as my Menopur injection of 75ius at 7am. I will do my injection of 150ius of Follistim at 7pm. My poor bruised and beaten stomach.......
Many of you have asked so I will go ahead and explain what the Lupron injections are used for. The drug itself suppresses the pituitary gland. With it suppressed, my body won't take over and try to do things on it's own, therefore my entire cycle will be fully regulated by injectable medications. Basically it forces me into a temporary state of menopause by causing a drastic drop in estrogen levels. This is turn prevents premature ovulation while stimulating my ovaries to create multiple follicles.
The Menopur and Follistim simply stimulate follicle growth. Menopur contains both FSH and LH. Follistim contains only FSH.
Many of you have asked so I will go ahead and explain what the Lupron injections are used for. The drug itself suppresses the pituitary gland. With it suppressed, my body won't take over and try to do things on it's own, therefore my entire cycle will be fully regulated by injectable medications. Basically it forces me into a temporary state of menopause by causing a drastic drop in estrogen levels. This is turn prevents premature ovulation while stimulating my ovaries to create multiple follicles.
The Menopur and Follistim simply stimulate follicle growth. Menopur contains both FSH and LH. Follistim contains only FSH.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Core Fears
I began doing my morning Lupron injections yesterday. Yesterday's was pretty bad. It was unusually painful for a little subcutaneous injection and took two tries to get it to puncture my skin. Luckily, today's was much better. It must have been a fluke, thank goodness, because I was scared! As far as side effects go, I have been unusually sleepy and not wanting to do much of anything. I've also had a migraine since yesterday which isn't an uncommon thing for me. Here is a picture.
I still don't think it's really set in that it's actually come to this and I'm really having to do IVF. I sort of just feel like I'm going through all the motions. I'm just taking it one day and one step at a time. Hopefully this is what will work for us because I'm barely hanging on to the end of a very thin thread. It's been a loooooooong, long time to wait for a child. Probably a lot longer than most of you realize.
It's finally come to the last resort. Every hope and dream I've ever had is tied up in this cycle. What will I do with the rest of my life if I can't have a child to share it with?.... What if I never feel the kicks of a God-given angel growing inside me, never have that little fear of being solely responsible for another human being, never get to hear my baby's heartbeat for the first time, never get to experience the beautiful moment of seeing my baby's face on the ultrasound machine, never know what it feels like to experience all the joys of pregnancy, never experience that magical moment when my newborn is placed in my arms for the first time, and witnessing my husband's nervousness the first time he/she is placed in his, never know what it's like to breastfeed and bond, never know how it feels to decorate a nursery, or bring my baby home for the first time, never really join in the conversations between mothers in a form other than the giant elephant in the room, never have someone to watch grow up, snuggle with, teach to walk and talk, take trick-or-treating, open gifts on Christmas morning, revolve all the holidays around, start Kindergarten... who's booboos will I kiss? I may never watch my baby graduate high school, get married, I may never become a grandmother. I would deprive my husband of these things as well. These are my core fears. This world is centered around children and families and I'm waiting for my turn. My chance at motherhood, my chance at knowing what it feels to be a part of the most miraculous thing on this earth. It's terrifying.
It's finally come to the last resort. Every hope and dream I've ever had is tied up in this cycle. What will I do with the rest of my life if I can't have a child to share it with?.... What if I never feel the kicks of a God-given angel growing inside me, never have that little fear of being solely responsible for another human being, never get to hear my baby's heartbeat for the first time, never get to experience the beautiful moment of seeing my baby's face on the ultrasound machine, never know what it feels like to experience all the joys of pregnancy, never experience that magical moment when my newborn is placed in my arms for the first time, and witnessing my husband's nervousness the first time he/she is placed in his, never know what it's like to breastfeed and bond, never know how it feels to decorate a nursery, or bring my baby home for the first time, never really join in the conversations between mothers in a form other than the giant elephant in the room, never have someone to watch grow up, snuggle with, teach to walk and talk, take trick-or-treating, open gifts on Christmas morning, revolve all the holidays around, start Kindergarten... who's booboos will I kiss? I may never watch my baby graduate high school, get married, I may never become a grandmother. I would deprive my husband of these things as well. These are my core fears. This world is centered around children and families and I'm waiting for my turn. My chance at motherhood, my chance at knowing what it feels to be a part of the most miraculous thing on this earth. It's terrifying.
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